The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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