There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
