At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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