Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
