Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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