Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize