How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
