just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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