I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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