she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize