I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
