you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
