I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
