shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
