she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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