she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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