Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
