Kareoke will never be a sober sport
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I can't put those talents on a resume
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
