I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
