I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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