so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
