Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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