great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
