I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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