i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
