Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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