"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize