really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
