hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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