apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
