I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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