Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
FUCK WHALES
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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