When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
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