I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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