why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
