it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The Olympian is in my bed
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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