Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
