She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
When are your genitals available?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
