I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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