Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I have fence marks all over my body
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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