I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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