so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i think i scared a bird with my dick
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Randomize
