3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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