If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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