Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
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