I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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