Im at strip club and am horny
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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