I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
