I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
