Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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