is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
