Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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