Screwed.edu
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize