i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
