I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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