All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
