508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
