the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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