I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize