My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
