On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize