yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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