I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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