Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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