Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
