It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
