they said they heard you say put it in my butt
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
