This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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