Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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