she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
