I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
