Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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