Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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