Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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