it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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