good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
