Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
