My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
