the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
