Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
