She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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