my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
